Kevin Light (First Ascent newsletter - April 2010)
Here are 52 reasons why I should be your winner (one for each kilometre):
1. I am a Puffer Veteran so you can trust me to make good use of the slot;
2. I am seriously committed - I finished the Tuffer Puffer with my knee bound in duct-tape from the 24 hour hardware;
3. I have spent the whole bloody day not working and looking at the route, pictures etc on the site;
4. I have been doing that every day since I first got on the waiting list in 2006 and I really need to go to the toilet, do some work and shave for the first time in four years;
5. I like the OB and Captain Morgan official race refreshment and promise to do my best to drink a lot of it;
6. I am photogenic and will look fab in your race pics, and will not charge you for the shoot;
7. I will wear clothes for the photos;
8. I write a column, "A Lighter Spirit", for Independent Newspapers niche publication, The Pink Tongue, and will write about the race and First Ascent in that column;
9. Darrell will be grateful to you because then I will stop bugging him for new ideas of how to get an entry;
10. My sangoma will be grateful to you because then she will be able to stop fraternising with that goat to try to get me into the race;
11. I will become a proud member of the Rhodes Polar Bear Club and will shout, "Thank you, First Ascent" on emerging in all my glory from the frozen river;
12. I am a marriage officer and have already blocked off that week-end from weddings - the bloody brides can wait;
13. Accommodation is all sorted - I have arranged a camper-van to travel and doss in;
14. I have an ad on Gumtree for someone nice to go along to keep me warm in the camper;
15. I like snow;
16. I like pain, especially when I do it to myself (pain, I mean);
17. I have a nice headlamp, torch thingie;
18. My mother told me not to take part in this event;
19. I will have the First Ascent lizard logo tattooed on my bum;
20. I will have it tattooed somewhere else if you don't like the bum;
21. I will send you a photo of my bum so you can decide;
22. I will not send you the photo of my bum if you prefer not to get it, but if I don't win then me and all of my friends will send you bum photos;
23. Running is meditation for me - help me to reconnect with myself and renew my capacity to care for others and the world;
24. I believe that if you are not living on the edge you are taking up too much space - and this race is pretty close to the edge;
25. I have a friend called Dave;
26. I will not say one ugly thing about that dear old Auntie Mavis Bank on race day;
27. If you loved me you would do this for me;
28. I know the DH Lawrence Poem, "When we get out of the glass bottles of our ego, and get into the forests again";
29. I will wear whatever you want me to on race day (I'm trusting you on this);
30. I have pink Jockeys ... I'm just that cool;
31. You can have my pink Jockeys if you give me the Wild Card;
32. R is for, Rest - as crazy as it may sound to road runners, this will be rest for my soul;
33. H is for, I will give it Horns on race day;
34. O is for, come-on Okes, just give me the entry;
35. D is for, Desperate enough to send 52 reasons to an "info@" email address;
36. E is for, I'm really Excited so you can't let me down here;
37. S is for, I'm thrilled Spitless at the idea of taking part in the race;
38. I'm a boy so I won't clog up the toilet lines at the Rhodes hotel after the race;
39. My kids have already made support banners and it will depress, devastate and disappoint them if they are unused;
40. 2009 was a crappy year and I need something lekka to look forward to;
41. My family comes from Graaff Reinett and I need to reconnect with my ancestors in the Eastern Cape;
42. My uncle is the undertaker in Graaff Reinett and you don't want him to visit you;
43. I need an excuse to buy a new pair of Trail shoes;
44. I have lots of First Ascent trail running kit and I love it;
45. In fact, I love you;
45. I don't want to have to burn my First Ascent trail running kit in public while telling people how crap it is;
46. I will tell you where the best trail run on the Garden Route is;
47. Mandy says that I'm good company on an adventure;
48. I wrote a great poem, "A man and his dogs" which was inspired by what I have learned about being human from extreme trail runs;
49. I will present the poem to your First Ascent team along with an inspirational team development talk for FREE (MTN paid lots of South African Rands for the same presentation last month);
50. My 18 year old daughter says that she'll stand at the finish line in a bikini and shout, "Clear the bridge";
51. I am going to send you another list like this next year if you don't make me the WINNER this year.
52. Mountains are my church and running is my liturgy - let us pray!
There you have it. Thanks a lot. I love you, First Ascent. See you on race day - I can hardly wait ...
