When our starters line up on 9 July everyone will be a novice.
Two years of COVID enforced postponement means that the route, the thin air, the bitter head wind 'up top', the 'Tufts of Terror', the hip-dislodging downhill through Carlislehoek and that last unspeakable 'bump' past the Police Station will be a new experience for everyone.
Hip-dislodging you ask?
Bleats will tell the story, and this year with everyone a novice we anticipate a record-breaking number of bleats.
Fishermen and runners share a common thread of DNA. They can be prone to shall we say, slight exaggeration. Some fishermen have been seen to stretch our local rainbow trout by carefully extending arms towards a lens and for our runners slight inclines becoming never-ending mountains of immense pain.
While trout can be measured honestly with a scale and tape, bumps along our trail have previously been a somewhat different kettle of fish.
Enter our upgraded 2022 edition Bleat-o-meter™.
An unsympathetic device that clandestinely converts gasps from asthma-pump-free sucking lungs into a measure of beats per minute, correction, into bleats per minute.
The range of our earlier Bleat-o-Meter was limited. But thanks to ground-breaking ground vibration technology bleats can now be monitored, and recorded, as far back as the river crossing when bleaters, er runners enter the Kloppershoek kloof.
 |
 |
 |
 |
In previous years not everyone bleated in the kloof. Veteran Polar Bears tended to grunt more than bleat, with their grunts echoing through the valley, startling early morning browsing mountain rhebuck. However, this year with everyone a novice we expect an increase in bleating with no grunting.
The Kisch Krew at the Mavis Top check point will be monitoring their Bleat-o-meters™ and loved ones waiting in Rhodes village will be able to follow, and possibly identify the bleats using the Bleat app which will be available for download at registration, a world-first.
 |
Note: Bleat (noun) a cry of pain or anguish
All images: Craig Muller | Backyard Adventures
